It only hurts when we breathe

by Cancer Killing Gemini

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released April 4, 2010



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Cancer Killing Gemini Boston

Rock / Electronic from Boston, MA

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Track Name: Christcontrol
push my head into the sea
learned from killing time
with chemicals and pantomime
when I put myself in place
still you're in my
you know you barely make me think
I'm gonna drive myself to drink

where's my Christ?
and I heard it's all a game
all the times I wished to fly
Cancer Killing Gemini
am I strong enough to speak
speak clear to
it's all because of Jill
that Jack was forced to break his

you're teaching me control
and it's just enough to mess up my head
you're teaching me to crawl
just so you can watch as it kills me

here's something I made for you
so I guess I can say to you
that it's not in the cards for me
just tell me where my Christ
Track Name: Should I Tell You That You're Pretty
my little princess
how'd you get so sweet
you're looking lost girl
why don't you come with me
hold out to me now
you just found everything
don't worry dear now
you'll just have to trust me

get down on the floor
if you'd like to feel my hips hit yours
do you want to bend your back with me
can you push hard enough to hurt me
you think you're strong enough to saddle me
you think you'll get the chance to straddle me
should I tell you that you're pretty
would it be best if no one knows
now did you ever wonder who you'd be
without your clothes

my little princess
why don't you get some sleep
'cause in the morning
you won't have to cook for me
how'd you get this number
what was your name again
what gave the idea
that I would be your boyfriend
'cause you're not my girlfriend
Track Name: "Prescription Drugs"
on L****** I'd forget I was sad
blow off my friends and just stay in bed
P**** was the next one I'd try
(thought I'd) never consider suicide
P***** now it feels like my heart will stop
but at least I'm already up
with R****** the floors in my house got cleaned
now maybe I should try ortho trycyclen

I think I like prescription drugs
are you on them too
If you're not on prescription drugs
what the hell is wrong with you
a pill that claims to fix everything
a solid state of mental health
who's that screaming in my head
now I can't even trust myself

maybe Z***** will help me back (but no it's)
way too hard to sleep through a panic attack
with lithium don't know if I'm smart or not
doesn't eighteen hundred milligrams
seem like a lot
something someday better do the trick
'cause I'm not having fun with the antipsychotics
so if this is two thousand ten
when will things start feeling real again

there's help enough for you but not from me
'cause I can't shake what's crawling over me
seratonin flowing out of me
but I can't believe I'm sane enough to be
Track Name: "Century"
the things I could've been
was there something in the way
I realized little late
the way you'd take me away

free ride to the end
here I go
out-survive all my friends
and rivals
surprised by the things
they deny you
no pride in the end

a lifetime of neglect
a million sunrises away
too much time to reflect
now you celebrate me today

promise me one thing
that you will not let me go
time knocks me out
while I hold myself down
I stood right in front of you
alone in the dark
what do I need
to stay this naive
my friend and my confidant
I don't know what to want
I don't know when to leave
but I don't need your sympathy
just let me fall apart
it's time I played a part
just let me be
Track Name: "All Alone With Me"
you put on the brakes
before you'd hang with me
the give and the take
never bothered me
but the way that you'd fake responsibility
made me relate
to your simplicity

get out of the way
you're not allowed to say
that you belong to me
bursting at the seam
there's no you in team
you're all alone with me

was it the way
mother cuddled me
can you relate
with your hypocrisy
as soon as I wait
to see some empathy
you're turning away
from everything you need

sometimes I thought I was winning
but then I was not the man
you thought I needed to be
but I didn't need to be
filled with indiscretion
unable to change direction
learning it on the way
getting lost without a sound
you're gonna put me under ground
Track Name: "Umbilical"
under falling snow
you were all I'd need
changing paths would telescope
everything I'd be
stop throwing sticks and stones alone
'cause we have grown
you know, yeah you know
still you think I will let go

despite the chemicals
I belong with you
will not take the wedding bells
to prove we'll make it through
there's no umbilical
to help us find the way
there's only you and me today

It's all in your head like
deer stuck in the headlights
if we can learn to live right
with all the birds and bees

under falling snow
I'd learn my ABC's
II do not want to burn myself with F and G
but the way to go
refraining from
the chains around my feet
I want you to
hold me
yeah you can fall apart on me
Track Name: "Mistletoe"
if I dare to let you in
would you listen
when you find the pressure ends
wait until you get your rose
then will you listen
wait around I'll let you go

I'm undergrown
thank god I'm
this far gone
thank god there's
thank god there's
if I change the shape I'm in
would you listen
let our sickness breathe again
all this time if you had known
would you have listened
give the gift of self control

such a mess today - I'm gone
now it's Christmas Day - have fun
wear your dress today - cuz I'm bombed
merry Christmas day
Track Name: "Butterfly"
Before the day when it all changed
You were headed for the sky
A split second mistake and you would pay
with every minute of your life
It'll be ok It'll be ok It'll be ok just
Breathe out
Breathe out
We'll find a way just get some rest and we're not gonna
freak out
don't freak out

you set out to get off again (but he )
broke your heart when he started in
you can try to get high again
makes me want to cry
my little butterfly

Couldn't live like this alone
but you were ready to find out
Now that you were free you knew that
somehow you would get it figured out
And he would disappear for almost all the 18 years
then creep back
then creep back
There's never been a day quite like today
so react
Just react

Sure enough the crazy comes
He'll be gone but back before
You know
You know
Soon enough the letter comes
He's never coming back again
You know
You know
Track Name: "Real"
hey little girl
sing for me
cry me to sleep
look out for me
I'm starting to fold
I'm in your control

hey little girl
this is how it goes
cry me to sleep
we'll take it slow
your words are unclear
but I'm still here

all the day
you must see
that we must be real
all the day
we must be real

when you're not around
I get cold
how hard it is to be alone
if you see I'm incomplete
complete me

so if you'll
cry for me when I'm taken
why don't you
cry for me now I'm sickened
why don't you
wait for me now I'm better
why do you
wait for me now so bitter
Track Name: "Trainwreck"
when you came I learned to run
do I get a reprieve what have I done
a suitcase - you're all goodbyes
just don't let the tears fill up my eyes

did she wreck you
what did she take from you
don't try to control her

now it takes the best we've got
the train wrecks again in the same spot
we'll escape with all the lies
just don't let the smoke get in my eyes

way out in front I learned how to play
without you coming after me
hearing the words should I believe
you we never into me
set out alone I won't complain
but do I get to drive the train
do you get to say how I get to feel
how I get to feel